The Big Boss conferring with his Aide-in-Chief.
Big Boss: What???s all this nonsense that I hear some people are saying about me? Something about me never held a press conference, in all these years that I???ve been Big Boss?
Aide-in-Chief: I???m afraid people are saying that, Bossji. Perhaps it???s time you did hold a press conference.
Big Boss: But what is a press conference? What is it that happens when you have one?
Aide-in-Chief: I???m not exactly sure, Bossji. But I believe what happens in a press conference is that a whole bunch of journos ask you a whole lot of questions.
Big Boss: Questions? What sort of questions? Questions like: What???s the time? Or: Who do you think will win the IPL?
Aide-in-Chief: In press conferences journos generally don???t ask about the time. Or about the IPL. I think they ask what are called awkward questions. Like: Why is the price of petrol and diesel so high, and going higher and higher day by day? And: Where are all those millions of jobs you promised? Stuff like that.
Big Boss: But why should anyone want to ask me questions, awkward or otherwise, when I already supply all the answers to everything in my Mann ki Baat broadcasts. Instead of wanting to ask me questions these altu-phaltu journos should learn to listen to what I say on the radio and take dictation from it. That???s what their real job should be. To let me dictate to them, because that???s my job: ??to dictate to people, journos and non-journos alike. No wonder people call me the Great Dictator.
Aide-in-Chief: I don???t think that people call you that because you???re good at dictation. I think they mean something quite different. And the fact that you???ve never given a press conference during which they can ask you questions about cow vigilantism, and the increasing crimes against women, and when the promised Acche Din will come, confirms what they mean.
Big Boss: OK, if they want a press conference I???ll give them a real Press Conference ??? after my great victory in 2019 when I???ll declare myself Pressident-for-Life …
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